Lordy lordy the trip is nearly over. I suppose I'd better write something then.
I am writing this bit in the back of the car as we head up through France, so if my typing is a bitr rubish it's because of ythe brumpiness as we goo along not htat im' a crapp typrist.

We're off up to see where Smed's uncle is buried and then I will drive us to Calais. Kipper is going to drive the last leg back in the UK. Kip loves driving and consequently has done most of it. Most notably the infamous Nurburgring. We still think that we are probably the only people dumb enough to take a fully laden Mercedes the size of a type 42 destroyer around the Nurburgring. Do a search on Google - bet you don't find anyone else that has, not even Clarkson's German girlfriend.

I have done some of the driving, but although not entirely incompetent, I will be the first to admit I am not a world-class driver and I scare the boys. When I'm driving there is a tense silence in the car broken only by Smed screaming about brakes or red lights or some other trivial matter. The scooter bloke is still alive and the car is still in one piece - I call that a success.

We have been to lots of places and seen loads. But this is three blokes on tour so the emphasis has been largely on beer, the relative attractiveness of each country's girlies, cars, and bodily functions - particularly farts. Particularly Kipper's farts. We have done the touristy stuff though, pretty buildings and the like, Smed went into a RC church and although he looked uncomfortable, he didn't actually burst into flame as was expected. The architecture in Belgium was pretty; the girls though not actually ugly were somewhat plain. Smed didn't notice because "I don't look at girls, I have a pretty wife".

Bruges and Brussels have some fab buildings and were quite pleasantly surprising; as long as you turn a blind eye to the beer prices. Beer prices right the way round (apart from Czech) have been considerably higher than UK, fortunately Kipper and I can now fluently say "my friend is paying" in six different languages.

Language has not been a notable problem. Everyone seems to speak English, even some old bird who was running a back street newsagents in Prague knew the words 'packet of Marlboro'. And universally, the European phrase for "three beers please" is in fact "three beers please", just with a slightly different accent.

It may surprise people to know that our meals have not been completely liquid, there have been solid aspects. Mostly, as Smed has already pointed out, pork and cheese in various forms. Not really surprising that Kippper's farts have been a regular topic of conversation. I have been sharing rooms with Kip for the entire trip and I can now predict to within 5.3 minutes when his digestive system is going to unleash its next blast.

Czech Republic is probably top of the pops for us this trip. The beer is cheap(er) the girls are pretty and you're allowed to smoke in the pub. Prague was dead good and although the guide book mentions that "the place is riddled with thieving back-stabbing robbing low-life" we didn't get mugged once. In fairness to the Prague criminal fraternity, most of the time we've looked so shabby that it wouldn't appear we had anything worth nicking. Prague was awarded an extra day stop off which obviously says something for it, some places on route didn't warrant more than half an hour for a swift burger and then it's on to the next town/city/stretch of motorway.

Motorways as you might imagine have been a major feature of the tour. Originally the idea was to do as much on minor roads as possible. Nice idea because you get to see the bits off the beaten track that many others probably miss. Unfortunately when you're on a fairly tight schedule the winding little backroads that go up and down mountains and through goat farms eventually have to be shelved in favour of some speed. And then you find the main road is closed because the Germans want to dig it up and you're detoured back through someone’s goat farm again. In three thousand miles I suppose you've got to expect a few detours. Fortunately we have Smed's Sat Nav machine which almost consistently will find an alternative route. One of the most stressful things on this kind of trip is knowing which road you need to take and where you are and lane changes and all that jazz, the navigation computer sorts all that out (when it's working right). Unless of course I'm driving - when the computer says "take the next left" it helps if you can remember which is left and which is right. Take away one stressful thing and pop a different one in its place.

So last day. Won't have a chance to post whilst on the road so am blogging this on Wedneday night.

Plan for Thursday, 3.5 hours north to Moulin-Sous-Touvent to visit my uncles grave. Sgt Stanley Goodhew was in 103 squadron and his plane was lost on the 24th October 1942 on a mission to bomb Milan, He lies with his 6 crew members in a small village cemetery. I have been trying to find out about the events leading to my uncles crash and would like to thank David Fell who looks after the 103 squadron website, but especially Katie Powell who I have never met but who has provided invaluable research in to my uncles last flight.

Update: Got in to Moulin-Sous-Touvent around lunchtime. It was sunny and warm and a lovely place. The cemetery is up a farm track just noth of the village.

It is a simple but beautifully maintained cemetery. The crew of W1223 are just to the right of the entrance. Someone is taking very good care of the plots, not a weed in site.

My Uncles grave.

The visit was really quite emotional for me, it is a strange feeling finding a family connection in a pretty remote part of France and then making the journey to visit. Very glad I could pay my respects on behalf of the family.

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So after that we headed in the Calais direction. Had lunch at Saint Quentin, had a nice square and just for a change luch cost 60 Euro's...

Then headed for the coast to a place called Le Touquet-Paris-Plage. Looks like a 1950's beach resort but with some very expensive houses.

Then on to Calais - 12 Euros for 2 beers. Never complain about english beer prices again. Kip drove the final leg home and finally my own bed...

Jolly nice 10 days... cheers boys.

Montpellier to the Millau Viaduct - then on to Never (yes it is a place)

Montpellier actually had some nice bits but I only saw them on the way out. Bruce drove us to the Millau Viaduct (I won't mention the red light he drove through and the scooter rider he went for), The viaduct was stunning.

When we returned to the car we had a visit from French customs and their sniffer dog. The paranoia around anyone coming from Spain is now huge. Swine flu is spreading.

From Millau we headed north and had lunch in Clermont Ferrand (nice town square but not much else) and then headed for Never for the night. Once you get into the old town it is quite special. The Cathedral is being restored and it is beautiful,

Found a nice little restaurant where Bruce was determined not to have Pork or Beef.....
That'll be chicken then.

Very nice coffee in Italian hotel then off on the A26 to the med. Should be in Monte Carlo by lunch... It is still raining at 10:30. Stopped for a wee at an Italian service station, I mention this only because it had a sign saying "No Porno". I can only assume this is the exception and not the rule.

10:37 Its stopped raining... almost!
11:00 Its sunny!

Monte Carlo - Very pretty from the hills above the town. Kipper drove a bit of the Grand Prix circuit. The town is mad as they are in full build mode ready for the race in May.

Then on to Nice which has a very nice sea front. Went for a walk on the beach and then on to Cannes. Recommendation, don't negotiate Cannes at rush hour. Decided to push on to Montpellier so we only have a short hop to the Millau viaduct tomorrow morning.

Innsbruck - St Anton - Lichtenstein - Switzerland (Davos) - Verbanier (Italy)

Something wierd happened this morning.... Bruce had breakfast and not jusr coffee. He had mueseli and croissants and orange juice, yes I did write mueseli. Hopefully his body won't reject it.

Drove to St Anton and took the boys up the Galzig cable car. Kipper was OK until we went over a large drop off and then he freaked, just a bit. Had a breif snow ball fight, a mooch about and then came down again. As the cable car launched out of the station, Kipp freaked out again, very funny.

Kipp then drove us towards Liechtenstein where a bewildered police men asked us:
Meat? Alcohol? Tabacco?
Not sure if he was buying or selling but he eventually gave up and sent us on our way.
Left Liechtenstein, it is a silly place, and headed for Davos in SWitzerland. We intended to drive "One of the best driving roads in the World" as described by Mr Clarkson... but it was closed. It then started raining and after an hour turned to snow, another hour and back to rain again. It has now rained constantly for 9 hours! Kipper had been complaining that I got to drive all the fun bendy roads, he doesn't think they are quite so fun anymore.

The Italian border guard took one look at us and just waived us through. We have stopped for the night in a quaint Italian hotel in Verbanier on the banks of lake Marggiore. It is probably very nice when the sun is out.

Went for a nice meal, at a local Italian restaurant mainly due to it being the only place open. Food was good but the staff were more interested in watching Italian Big Brother.
Back to the hotel for a ginger wine and a planning meeting. Up early tomorrow and off to the med and hopefully some sun.

Prague - Innsbruck

Having to use Microsoft Map Point 2009 to navigate and it is rubbish.
Although it is the latest version it doesn't have any of the recent motorways so it is normally lost. Back to good old TomTom when we crossed the German border.

So a marathon 7 hour drive, first 4 hours on minor roads and then a last dash on the motorway. Kipper was very taken with the Alps so we are going up a mountain on Monday.

Staying at an Ibis Hotel in Innsbruck, needed a clean bathroom!

Morning, slightly hungover in Prague. Just posted all the pictures up on Picasa.

http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/IansPicasa/EuropeanRoadtrip2009.

So, wandered about a bit, drank beer, looked at buildings. Also 2 car rallies in town. Supercars and classic cars, very nice.

Later went shooting. Bruce liked the 44 magnum!

Bruce drove us to the Czeche Republic (adrenalin is a wonderful thing) and Kipper drove us into Prague. We are staying in a hostel... Wierd. Got a tram in to town, they appear to be free. Now sat in a beer garden over looking the river. Beer £1.00, petrol £1.00 a litre.

Update, wandered over a bridge, found a seedy bar. Quite liked it actually. Wandered back via a tram to our hostel and am now going to the cellar bar for a free beer. "Adventure". 

Brussells was pretty, the Grand Place was actually just around the corner from our hotel... Only found it cos we we're looking for a nice place for a coffee.

Ian drove from Brussels to Nurburg.

Stopped at Bastogne for lunch, found a nice Sherman tank.

Apparently some kind of war happened there in 1944, didn't really want to ask as thought it maybe rude. Then entered Luxembourge which I must say is very pretty. Stopped for lunch just past some place with a nice castle.

Diet so far... Bread, Cheese, Pork products and beer.

Went cross country to Nurburg, found the road was blocked and we had to go off piste. TomTom was having a laugh. We now know a Mercedes 300SE is an off road vehicle.

Finally made it to Nurburg... Found the Grand Prix circuit but not the Nordschleife.
After much driving about finally found it at 18:45. Paid 22 Euro for a lap and Kipper drove us around the scariest race track ever.

Kippers driving face

It was very quiet, thank god, and we managed 13 min and 27 secs. Not bad for 3 up fully loaded with luggage... The tyres were particularly tacky when we finished. Oh yeah, not supposed to say we were overtaken by a van...

Oops missed the carousel... other cars beat us to it, but they did wave in amusement!

Made the second carousel

Bagpuss does the Nurburgring

We survived..

Stayed in Nurburg village, very clean and efficient.

Busy, busy day!

Left Calais at 05:00, in Bruge by 07:00. Unfortunately nothing in Bruge opens until 08:00.
Only one slight incident on a canal swing bridge, they were trying to open it when we were still only half off it.. Slight panic but we survived.
Eventually a coffee but Bruge is very pretty.
Found a shop called Kunst Koper - Smederij which basically sells tat.

Next door was a shop called Kathe Wohlfahrt.... this sold more tat.

Then Waterloo.. Apparently some kind off battle happened there, very impressive hill built with a big lion on top.

Ian cooked a late breakfast of sausage, bacon on egg... much appreciated.
Went to look at an ancient Abbey, it was closed but they did have reindeer, ostrich, donkeys and pygmy goats... oh and a llama.

Now in Brussels which is OK cos we is knackeded and need to sleep.

So I have bought an emergency sleeping bag and a self inflating air matress (how lazy is that?). Hopefully won't need either as I plan to stay in hotels... but you never know. Also other vital supplies include Wine Gums and Ginger Wine.

So, route planned so far, leave about midnight from our village poker game in Sutton Benger, 2.5 hours down to the chunnel, 40 minutes later Calais, drive towards Belgium, find breakfast.

Only other targets are the Nurbergring then Prague then somewhere probably in the direction of the Alps then a small cemetry between Paris and Reims to pay my respects to my uncle Stanley Goodhew who lost in World War II(60350 Moulin-sous-Touvent) and back to Calais.. Sounds too easy.

I shall try and post whenever I can get a WiFi connection.
Wish us luck!

So, after a brief visit to the mechanics we now have a working drivers side electric window... This may not seem vital but with 3 blokes in a car for 10 days, the need to access fresh air quickly may save lives!

We have now sorted most of the bodywork and she is looking pretty sweet.

As far as planning goes we have decided that once we get out of the chunnel we'll turn left.....